#but not yet!

[seventeengoingunder]

made my little cappuccino, sitting on the terrace and reading my little book while listening to my little albums. and it's chilly outside!!! maybe this fixed me.

[fortjester]

personally, i think the best part of the eulogy i wrote is the two points where i have [PAUSE FOR LAUGHTER] inserted. tells you everything you need to know abt my take on this

[chronotopes]

you guys i cannot sustain working at this dining room table my back hurts like. every night 👍🏻

[perelka-l]

doodled some puppies~

[geeangel]

:)

[onlyshestandsthere]

Can like Jade like just give her a hug pretty please

Eventually she will get many hugs. So many. And kisses. Such soft kisses.

[itspileofgoodthings]

i cannot show my weaknesses without them seeming like strengths and that is a weakness most truly terrible. charm, self-deprecation, sweeping, soul-baring honesty---all of these take their turns in hiding what I really want to say or show, even from myself. 

i simply always know what to say and how to respond. my pride won’t let me stand still, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, when the blows fall. or if it does it comes across to others as a weapon most cleverly deployed. a weapon i don’t even know I am using.

i see the trains of thought and associations forming in the people opposite me. i feel helpless in the face of them. i don’t even know if they’re true.

i wrap my statements round with many others, smooth off their edges, do my best to alter the light that falls on them-- or at least control it if i cannot change it. and having cut out the need for another person’s response from my words i often do not get one. 

inside my inner child is ever more tongue-tied and choked. (i knew how to parry even as a child but i didn’t want to.)

and there is no way out and no way through to me saying what I want to say which is-- “please don’t hurt me, i will bleed.”

so. this makes me, like everyone, vulnerable. like everyone, i bleed. and often.

like everyone, only love can protect me, and only if it is true. 

[theonlythingimfuckingisstupid]

i’m officially three days ahead of wom!!! which means that i have to write even more or else i will let this get to my head and i’ll end up behind by the 10th. good news is that i have plans for the next few prompts :)

[horse-heaven]

saw my neighbors out walking their shiba and it took all my self restraint to not just straight up kidnap their dog I just love shibs so much

[clanmacarthur]

now who’s my boy duncan texting??

who’s to say…who’s to say

[marlynnofmany]

Time to write! Now we see whether I can finish this chapter without haring off on a quest to figure out the perfect insult for one snobby alien to call another.

Place your bets. The odds aren’t good.

[alch3mic]

ooo how about if the boys lovers accidentally comes across their bad side? (if that makes sense lol)

it’s a spoiler >:3

all of the boy’s stories will deal with their readers discovering something about their bad selves and how they deal with it!

[alchemyfeline]

this has been the mood for the past month or so

[pathogenic]

Since someone got me started on early ship dynamics, I got possessed by the need to write the Knight of Enbarr but with Hubert.

When Hubert lost Edelgard, he was uncertain of what to do with himself. He cannot recall all that he did during the time she was gone, much less what he felt beyond numb. The time blurred together and left a blank spot in his memories.

What he did recall was the shame when he first heard the news. House Vestra had one singular purpose - to protect and preserve House Hresvelg. So when he heard that Her Highness, Princess Edelgard von Hresvelg was taken by Lord Volkhard von Arundel, Hubert was distraught. He was so young and yet he had already failed the task entrusted to him by two noble families. What else could he do but attempt to bring her back home?

Were it just a chance accident with some bandits, he knew they could expect a ransom. The price on a princess' head is too high for them to ignore, they would never touch a hair on her head to ensure they go their pay day. A member of the branch family of House Hresvelg, however, is another deal entirely. With Lord Arundel, there were no promises. So Hubert ran as far as his legs would carry him to. He dodged the armies his father sent to retrieve him and he fought like a demon until eventually he simply couldn't anymore.

The next memory Hubert had was of the day his reason for living had returned. He thought he would be relieved. He thought it would be the best day of his life, but when he saw Edelgard with a head full of snow white hair, distant look on her face, and not a single sibling in sight, Hubert's heart dropped to his stomach. It was apparent that something was horribly wrong.

That night he bent the rules and sought our the princess, wanting to know what happened. That night he learned that his liege was now the crowned princess and of the awful experiments that Lord Arundel had performed upon her. That night, Hubert learned how to hate someone totally and completely.

It wouldn't be the last time Hubert would learn this. After Edelgard's return, he had focused completely on his studies into dark magic. He knew he had a knack for it before, but now he knew that the future of the Adrestian Empire rested in his hands and he would never let such an awful fate happen twice. This was also why Hubert started to look into the horrible event. He needed to know how and why it happened if he wished to prevent it from ever happening again.

What he uncovered changed Hubert down to his core. The reason why Arundel could pull Edelgard and her mother away from the Empire so easily was due to that insurrection he had done with his father and other noble families. This restricted the Emperor to the point where he was powerless against such a bold move. If his father had helped Lord Arundel, then Marquis Vestra was just as guilty for his liege's suffering.

The final time Hubert knew hatred was when the aging Emperor Ionius the IX called for a tournament to ensure the safety of Edelgard. By this time, Hubert was a competent mage and had learned from his father how to extort, threaten, and harm others in the name of serving the throne. Was his efforts not good enough? Was he such a horrible retainer that the Emperor had no faith in him? He attempted to speak with the Emperor to learn what he did wrong, but the old fool tried to explain that since Edelgard was the only surviving heir, it was paramount she made it to the throne, Hubert refused to hear it.

So there he sat in the box with the Emperor, Edelgard, and his father, overseeing the tournament. He did his best to hide the disdain from his expression per his father's demands, but he felt nothing but disgust at the whole event. The cheers and excitement of the crowd did nothing to quell this. Did they not see how much of an insult this was to him?

Perhaps the greatest insult of all was who won - a nobody. Some upstart warrior from a village that resided in the territory belonging to the man who injured his liege. Before that day, he never heard of any women with the name of Haydes, and yet she bested each experienced knight they had and earned her spot next to Ladislava as Edelgard's knight.

That night they held a banquet to celebrate the achievements of their new knight. He could see her struggling to keep up as Count Bergliez had all but trapped her in a conversation, talking about the glory of battle. He could see her struggle to remember her manners as she spoke with Duke Aegir. Of course they would get a knight who knew next to nothing on how to speak with nobles. That seemed to be Hubert's luck in life.

He approached, a drink in hand to speak with her. "Enjoying the banquet, I hope. It is in your honor after all."

The new knight almost jumped out of her skin as she turned to Hubert. "Ah, yes, I am. Though it really wasn't necessary." She said.

"No, it wasn't, was it?" He said, a smile curled on his lips as his eyes narrowed. "In fact, I'd say this whole event was not necessary, but that decision was not mine to make. However, since you are here, know that I will be watching your every move. Should you prove to be incompetent at your job, I will ensure that you are removed."

Haydes narrowed her eyes back. "And who are you to make such a call?" She asked. "I do not take kindly to threats."

"Why, I'm Lady Edelgard's retainer." Hubert informed. "You may call me Hubert. We will be working together for quite some time." He said, slowing his speech near the end. "Do not fail me."

Hubert turned to leave her be, allowing his expression to sour for a minute as he saw himself out of this party. There was no doubt in his mind that this was going to be a nuisance that wouldn't bother him for long. She was inexperienced, she was blunt, and she certainly knew nothing on the behavior expected of a knight coming from such a small village.

Later, he would learn that his early judgements were completely wrong, but until then, she was nothing but an insult to him specifically.

[ub-sessed]

For the sake of my mental health I will be taking a break from Tumblr tomorrow.

[tehstripe]

also i doodled this based on a scene from an rp. i cannot even begin to give you context for everything thats happening here, just accept it

character belongs to @firebuggg!